Confessions of a church musician (Psalm 73)

What is the biggest challenge playing on the music team?

Is it playing new and unfamiliar songs? Or playing the same songs again and again?

Or maybe it’s playing in front of other people (especially at combined services with the aunties and uncles from the Chinese congregation)?

For me, the biggest adjustment was playing in a group, playing with other musicians who were real pros. That was stressful!

What about you? What has been the biggest challenge since joining the church music team? Keep that question in mind as we turn to Psalm 73, which is a song written by a musician named Asaph.

In fact, we know from 1 Chronicles 16, that Asaph was appointed by King David to be in charge of all the musicians. He was the the worship leader, in charge of all the priests, to worship God before the ark of the covenant (built during the time of Moses). And you will notice that Psalm 73, together with Psalm 74, 75… all the way to Psalm 83 was written by Asaph, meaning, he was a songwriter, too.

Here, in Psalm 73, he says.

Surely God is good to Israel,

to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped,

I had nearly lost my foothold.

For I envied the arrogant,

when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

I call Psalm 73 “Confessions of a Church Musician.” Why? Because, in verse 2, he confesses, “My feet had almost slipped.” He’s not talking about playing the wrong chord or reading the wrong verse. No, he is confessing - honestly admitting - that he doesn’t feel like worshipping God today.

How can you say that Asaph? You are the worship leader!

Aigoo!

Notice, verse 1: “Surely, God is good to Israel.” And that expression - Surely - happens three times in the passage. It’s like “Crikey!” (if you British) or “Wah!” (if you are Chinese) or “Aigoo” (if you are Korean).

Asaph says, “Surely!” three times (in verses 1, 13 and 18) to give us three honest confessions; he gives us three honest reflections as a church musician. He tells us (1) what he knows, (2) what he feels and (3) what is true. That’s what we are looking at today. What he knows, what he feels and what is true.

1. What he knows

Firstly, what he knows. Right from the beginning, Asaph knows that God is good. Asaph knows that God deserves our worshipped. But when he looks at this world, what Asaph knows and what Asaph sees are two different things.

I know that God blesses his people. But when I look at the world (verse 4), “they have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.”

I know that God loves the pure in heart. But (verse 7) “from their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.”

I know that God will judge on the wicked, but (verse 8) “They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.”

What Asaph knows doesn’t line up with what Asaph sees. But here’s the confession: Asaph is tempted to worship what he sees, not what he knows about God. Even though it’s wrong, Asaph is tempted to follow wicked men rather than worship a good God.

Verse 2: “But as for me, my feet at almost slipped… for I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” You might say, “How can you let such a person be the worship leader?”

But friends, Asaph knows what worship means. Do you? Worship means giving to God what he is worth. Literally: “Worth-ship” - it’s talking about worth and value. It’s a price tag. There are some restaurants where you go in and the menu has no prices. Instead, you order the food and at the end you pay what you think that chicken or that salad was worth. Our worship to God is a direct reflection of what God is worth in our lives.

Meaning: Worship is not about singing or giving money. It’s much more than that. Christians believe that God is worth our whole lives and therefore our worship is 24/7. Paul says in Romans 12: “Offer up your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.” It means you can worship God in church and at work, while you are eating your breakfast or taking the bus to school. Your whole life belongs to God and therefore everything you do, say and think is about being thankful to God and giving him all the glory he is due. At least, that is what Christians are called to do in their worship.

But when Asaph looks at the world, they think they owe God nothing. They think God is worth nothing. Instead, they live to worship their wealth, their health and their status. Verse 4: Their bodies are healthy and strong (meaning they go to the gym). Verse 6: Pride is their necklace (They dress to impress).

And he confesses, honestly, “I was tempted.” Why? Because in verse 9, Asaph sees a different kind of worship leader - one who is popular - but one who leads people away from God.

Their mouths lay claim to heaven,

and their tongues take possession of the earth.

Therefore their people turn to them

and drink up waters in abundance.

Verses 9-10

When it says, “their people turn to them,” it could be talking about how popular these worship leaders are in the world. It might also mean God’s people are turning to them. And that’s worrying, because in verse 11, they say, “How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?” Who cares about God? He’s not going to do anything about it.

Finally, Asaph concludes:

This is what the wicked are like -

always carefree, they increase in wealth.

Verse 12

What was Asaph tempted to do? To do evil? No. To be wicked? No. But to be comfortable. To be popular. You see, the world offers us another way to worship, one that is attractive. One that really works. Friends, it’s saying that it’s possible to love worship but hate God. It is possible to do evil but look good.

When you turn on the TV. When you check Facebook. This world is worshipping 24/7. The question is whether we are worshipping God - with our lives, our time, our money. Or are we worshipping money, our time, our lives as our God. Asaph says, “Honestly, I was tempted to do the latter.”

That’s what he knows. But next, he tells us what he feels. And in verse 13, what he feels like doing is giving up.

2. What he feels

Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;

in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

All day long I have been plagued;

I have been punished every morning.

Verses 13-14

Have you ever had one of those bad days when all you want to do is stay at home, watch Netflix and eat junk food? Not a bad thing, in and of itself. But what if you are a worship leader and you are supposed get up and lead worship that morning? What if you are the pastor and you are supposed to preach?

Asaph doesn’t feel like going to church today. He feels guilty about it (“All day long, I’ve been plagued”). But most of all, he feels like giving up. “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure.”

But then he says, Verse 15:

If I had said, “I will speak thus,”

I would have betrayed your children.

Verse 15

He’s saying, “When you step up to the mic, people are listening.” You need to be responsible as a worship leader. What you say reflects not just who you are but who God is.

Now I don’t think Asaph is saying you must be dishonest, otherwise, he wouldn’t have written Psalm 73, confessing all his struggles as a church musician. Psalm 73 is actually a song, meaning, they would have sung these words in church.

But he is saying that the times when you are depressed are tempted to say things that are hurtful and untrue about God. “I would have betrayed your children,” he says. Be extra careful about saying things on behalf of God that God isn’t saying in his Word. Eg. God isn’t good. God doesn’t care. That’s not true - and you know that it’s not true. And as leaders of God’s people, we must be careful about speaking words and singing words that go against the truth of God’s Word.

Yet at the same time, Asaph is conflicted. He is burdened with guilt. What does he do?

When I tried to understand all this,

it was oppressive to me

till I entered the sanctuary of God;

then I understood their final destiny.

Verses 16-17

He tried figuring it out on his own - “I tried to understand all this” - but it just got worse! Has that ever happened to you? You are stressed out about playing on Sunday. You are stressed out about your presentation. So you stay up all night practising and working - which is a great thing to do, don’t get me wrong - but at the end of all that hard work, you end up getting more stressed!!

Serving God is not something you can do with your own strength. The more you try, the more stressed out, the more frustrated you will get. Even an experienced worship leader like Asaph forgot this. He tried to figure it out on his own when only one thing could ever change things.

“Until I entered the sanctuary of God, then I understood their final destiny.” It is so obvious, yet we forget this. Only God can help us when we have a problem with God. It is so obvious!

And yet, most of us, when you have a problem with God, stay away. When things get tough in a ministry, we stop serving. When things get tough in church, we stay at home, thinking, “I’ll try to figure this out on my own.” It always - always - gets worse. Why? Because when your problem is God, you can’t solve it without God.

Let me put this another way. There are times when you will not feel like worshipping God. What should you do? Worship God. There are times when you will not feel like being with God’s people, when you feel like taking a break from church. What should you do? Come to church?

And you say, “What? That’s crazy?” No, that’s what Asaph is saying to us. It won’t work trying to sort out a problem you have with God by being by yourself. You cannot fix a relationship by breaking a relationship. Asaph is saying, “It’s not just about you.” Your worship before God affects your relationship with others (especially if you are responsible for them as a leader). And, at the heart of it, your worship of God flows from your own relationship with God.

So, when you do don’t feel like worshipping God, worship God anyway. You can say to him, as Asaph does in this psalm, “My feet are slipping. It doesn’t make sense. I am tempted to follow the world, not your Word.” Come near to God and the promise is: He will come near to you (James 4:8).

Which brings us to the final point - the final “Surely” in verse 18.

3. What is true

Surely you place them on slippery ground;

you cast them down to ruin.

How suddenly are they destroyed,

completely swept away by terrors!

Verses 18-19

What is your favourite love song? (The guys will say, “I don’t listen to love songs!”)

For some, it’s Ed Sheeren’s “Thinking out loud” - “Darling, I’ll be loving you till we’re seventy.” For others, it’s a classic like Whitney Houston’s, “Eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will always lo-ove you.” Do you notice how so many love songs have words like “eternal” and “forever”? Everyone wants a love that lasts forever. That’s eternal. But here in this last section, Asaph says they are nothing but fantasies.

As a dream when one awakes,

so when you arise, O Lord,

you will despise them as fantasies.
Verse 20

These love songs are beautiful, yes, and they are wonderful. But they are untrue. You can sing them till you are blue in your face but they are nothing but fantasies.

But the songs we were singing today were all based on God’s truth. “Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.” It’s talking about Jesus who was cleft - who was cut; who was killed - for me. And we’re saying, “Let me hide myself in you, Jesus.” His death opens up the way for me receive his life.

That is the kind of truth that speaks of eternity, not just wishful thinking. Therefore, when we long for the world’s fantasies, which will one day fade away, which God will one day judge and completely wipe away, we are being short-sighted. We are being foolish.

When my heart was grieved

and my spirit embittered,

I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before you.

Verses 21-22

Previously, Asaph was so focussed on the world - “They have no struggles; they are free from burdens; Their mouths lay claim to heaven.” Then he was focussed on himself - “I have been plagued, I tried to understand this, it was oppressive to me.” But it’s only when he started looking to God, that he realises: It’s not about me. It’s about you, Lord.

Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

and afterwards you will take me into glory.

Verses 23-24

Here’s the thing: God allows us to go through this process to realise just how much he loves us. The difficulties, the doubts are part of God’s plan - to do what? To strip away everything else from our lives so that only He is left in our sight. The bad things as well as the good things, one by one, God allows them to be stripped away, until we realise that the only permanent thing we have is Him.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion for ever.

Verses 25-26

It’s like fasting. Muslims all over the world began fasting this week as part of Ramadhan, abstaining from food and drink. But Christians fast not because of Ramadhan. And we do not fast because we are trying to cut down on carbs and chocolate.

Rather, when we fast as Christians, we are putting aside things which are good, food and water which we need to survive (we would die without food and water) and we are saying to God, “You are more important to me than food. You are more precious to me than my life.”

Asaph says to God, “Nothing in heaven and nothing on earth is more important to me than you.” How can he say that honestly and truly? Because his heart is failing him. Because his flesh is failing him. Verse 26 can and probably should be read in the present tense. “My flesh and my heart is failing.” Meaning: Right now, my body is breaking down. I am physically restrained. Right now, my depression is acting up.

“But God is the strength of my heart.” The only thing that’s keeping me going is You.

As a church musician, as a servant of God, that brings glory to God. When others look at you and they do not see your gifts, they do not praise you for playing so skillfully on the piano this morning, but they say to you, “I clearly see that God is working through you.” Our weakness makes God’s strength easier to see in our lives. By all means, worship God with your gifts. But never forget, you can also worship God with your grief. You can worship God with your weakness.

Conclusion: I will tell of all your deeds

Asaph knows that God is good. He has known this all his life - from Sunday School, from church. He knows this.

And yet, Asaph feels like giving up. “My feet had almost slipped. In vain, I have kept my heart pure.” His heart is failing him. He feels like giving up.

But in the end, God reminds Asaph of what is true and eternal. He holds him by his right hand. He guides him with his counsel. He strengthens him in his weakness.

Those who are far from you will perish;

you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge;

I will tell of all your deeds.

Verses 27-28

The only difference between the music team and the congregation; the only difference between the song leader and the song-led, is this: The privilege to tell of all His deeds. You are leading God’s people to praise God for who He is and for all that He has done.

He is the only true and eternal God. He is holy. He hates evil. And one day, He will judge the world in righteousness and truth through Jesus Christ, destroying all who are far from him and unfaithful to him.

He has sent his Son to die for your sins. Taking it upon himself, bearing our judgement on the cross, Jesus rose from the dead on the third day conquering sin, death and the Devil. All who trust in him receive full forgiveness and new life that is indestructible and conformed to the image of the Son of God.

These are truths about God that are eternal, that are revealed fully in his Word to us, that we as musicians, as song leaders, as Sunday School teachers, as pastors and bible study leaders have a great privilege to speak and teach and remind one another here in the Chinese Church.

Know this truth. Love this truth. And with all your heart, sing this truth with faithfulness and boldness to glory of our Saviour and God, Jesus Christ.

If anything, Jesus is Beautiful (Psalm 27)

Despair in death, disappointment in life

In this week's episode of the hit sci-fi TV series, Dr Who, there is a tense, poignant scene where a man dies. He gets shot by an alien, while trying to protect his wife from harm. And as his wife is holding him in her arms watching him disintegrate before her very eyes (did I mention that this is a sci-fi TV show?) - as she watches him die, she turns to the hero, the Doctor, and pleads with him, "Save him. You save everybody. You always do."

The Doctor replies, almost under his breath, "No, not always."

And in this moment of stillness, when you can see that this woman is obviously grieved yet profoundly shocked at the situation, she says to the Doctor - looking straight at him, with zero emotion in her voice - she says,

"Then, what is the point of you?"

The dialogue was not simply meant to convey grief over death. The woman's statement communicated an even more powerful emotion - despair. She was expressing disappointment in someone she thought she could trust to save her husband, but who had let her down in her time of greatest need.

1. Confidence in God's Salvation

I think that a Christian's faith is not put to the test when he faces suffering, pain or even death. A Christian's faith is truly put to the test when he begins to doubt whether God will save him from suffering, pain and death.

That is why Psalm 27 is so relevant, and indeed, so precious to us as Christians. For Psalm 27 speaks about salvation, but more importantly, the Christian's confidence in a God who is able and willing to bring salvation. We want to know that God can save. We want to be able to trust that God will save me.

The LORD is my light and salvation – whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?

(Verse 1)

The author of this psalm, David, is confident that the God of the bible, the LORD or YHWH, will deliver him from his troubles. He calls God his "salvation" and his "stronghold" - a description of a place of safety and security. As we read on, we get a better idea what David is being saved from.

When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,

when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

(Verse 2)

David is facing personal "enemies" and "foes". They advance to "devour his flesh": A very colourful, and rather gross, illustration that the footnotes in my NIV bible tell me is an expression meaning "slander". They want to bring down David's reputation and regard as King. But they also want to bring him down as God's chosen King. He calls them "evil men", meaning they are enemies, too, in God's sight. This is related to verse 12 where "false witnesses rise up" to confront David.

In spite of their attacks and accusations, David is confident. (You might be forgiven for thinking that David appears rather overconfident!) "Whom shall I fear?" he says in verse 1, a rhetorical statement, as the answer in the following verse implies "Absolutely no one!"

Though an army besiege me my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

(Verse 3)

It doesn't matter that his enemies gather in large forces, ganging up against him. Even war will not shake his confidence one bit.

But you only need to read the account of David's life to realise that David is not boasting of the figurative, but the factual. The mortal threats he outlines at the beginning of psalm 27 are not hypothetical; instead the enemies, the foes, the armies - these constant threats to his life are very much biographical.

The books of 1 and 2 Samuel in the Old Testament record for us David's career as soldier, fugitive, rebel leader and subsequently, king and ruler over Israel. His was a life full of conflict and battle. He was always going into battle and leading other men into battle. There was always someone out to kill David; most notably Saul, the former king who was hell-bent on hunting down David and taking his life. (The one time when David tried to step back from conflict - this was after he had ascended to the throne, and he tried to stay at the palace and let the soldiers do the fighting for once - that was the time he fell in to sin. He slept with another man's wife, had her husband murdered, and tried to cover it all up. He couldn't hide it from God, of course, who cursed David's career with further ongoing restlessness and conflict.)

So we shouldn't get too romantic with the word "salvation". For David, the dangers were real, the enemies were real - but God's salvation was all the more dependable. Here was a man who had faced the prospect of a gruesome death again and again, but could testify that God's protection had seen him through each and every one of these situations. Salvation for David meant deliverance from death. Verse 13 which speaks of David's confidence of God's goodness in the "land of the living" is a reference to an earthly existence. Elsewhere in the bible, the expression is found in Isaiah 38 on the lips of King Hezekiah worried that he would succumb to his illness and would no longer "see the LORD in the land of the living." Here, it means David hopes that at the end of the day he will still alive; that he is still breathing.

David is describing mounting opposition. The "enemies" and attackers in verse 2, gather as an "army" in verse 3. Yet notice that point of conflict is not external but internal. The battle is not "out there" but in his "heart" (verse 3). That is, the real battle is occurring on the inside - and the focus of David's resolve is his internal struggle and anguish.

The enemies advance against "me"; to devour "my flesh"; they "attack me" - in verse 2. And the army in verse 3 does not march up to lay siege on Jerusalem. No, they "beseige me". Even the declaration of "war" is against "me".

It may be that because David was king and God's chosen servant that he was at the centre of so much hatred, malice and conflict. But I think at some level he is also expressing a point of view all of us share when we are under immense pressure from those around us. That is, it feels personal. It feels like the world is out to get me, and me alone. Pain is an isolating experience. My pain and my problems make me focus on my situation and my plight.

Many students will soon be facing their finals. Yet as stressful as those two hours in the exam hall might be, it's the twelve hours beforehand that really get to you. Trying to cram in just a few more pages of notes; trying to get a good night's sleep. Not surprisingly, some Cambridge students actually thrive on this pressure. It's that gung-ho confident attitude which says, "I can take anything you throw at me", and I guess that's the kind of optimism you need to survive the pressure-cooker environment that is university, at times. Students are encouraged to be independent, confident, self-reliant, sensible...

But that's not David. He isn't facing his situation alone. I mean, he certainly fears it - in verse 10 he contemplates those closest to him abandoning him at his greatest time of need - "Though my father and mother forsake me" - yet he can face any and every external force that comes at him precisely because he knows he is never ever alone. The LORD is with him.

Verse 1: The LORD is my light and my salvation... The LORD is the stronghold of my life

If you're a student the thing to take away from David is not that he is confident, but that he is confident that God is with him in times of greatest need. Firstly, he prays about a real, physical problem - people who want to hurt him, situations that are troubling him. "Salvation" here is not talking about going to heaven, but being delivered from a very earthly hell. So if David can be honest to God about the things that are bugging him, you should, too. By all means, pray to God about your exams. Worried about a test? Ask for God's help. Can't sleep. Pray for God's peace. The worse thing you could do is hold back and not speak to God about the things that are so consuming your life, that he already sees and knows about.

But secondly, David is acutely aware of God's presence and guidance in the midst of these pressures, and not out of them.

In verse 3 he says, "though war break out against me, even then... will I be confident" The ESV has the footnote "In this I will be confident". Meaning, his confidence arises in the midst of the trouble; and not out of it.

When we are deep in our pain and problems, our prayer to God is often that he take us out of our troubles. But the bible is full of instances where God does not take his people out of trouble, but blesses them in the midst of their trouble.

He doesn't take them out, he brings them through.

David knows this. He sees his enemies. He sees all the pressures building up against him. But he knows that God will be there with him, protecting him, guiding him, accompanying him through these difficult situations for his good and God's glory.

At Rock Fellowship, we are studying the latter chapters of Genesis looking at the life of Joseph, and we learn the same lesson from his life before God. Joseph is betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery. Joseph is betrayed by his master's wife for refusing to sleep with her, and is thrown into prison. But God doesn't take Joseph out of slavery, and he doesn't free Joseph from prison. Indeed he is stuck there for thirteen years. Yet, what God does is bless Joseph. Again and again, Joseph finds favour with his master Potiphar and the prison guard. Again and again, Genesis says God is with Joseph. It is in the midst of difficulty that Joseph learns the presence and providence of the living God.

Paul stresses the same point for us as Christians in his letter to the Romans.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:35,37)

It is precisely "in all these things" that we experience the victorious love of Christ - these things which include "trouble", "hardship", "persecution" and "sword" (which means even death) - in these trials, and not out of them, that the experience of God's saving love becomes all the more real and all the more precious.

2. Worship in God's Tabernacle

An amazing thing happens in verse 4. We have just seen David facing up to real physical threats to his life, and this motivates him to trust in God all the more for his deliverance, but verse 4 says, it also spurs him worship the living God in his tabernacle.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek;
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life.

To gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and seek him in his temple.

(Verse 4)

And verse 5 reminds us of the context of trials - it is in them that God's salvation becomes all the more real:

For in the day of trouble, he will keep me safe in his dwelling

He will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

And set me high upon a rock.

(Verse 5)

The picture that David paints for us then, is mounting opposition that we have seen in verses 1 to 3 - with enemies, foes, attackers and armies all gathered against David - indeed, verse 6 says, they still "surround" him at this point. But here in verses 4 to 5, we learn that David has sought refuge in God's presence by residing in his temple. In verse 4, it is the "house of the LORD" and "his temple", in verse 5 he describes it as "his dwelling" and his "tabernacle" (also in verse 6).

Now, all these describe the one and same place - the temple, dwelling, tabernacle and house of God is the place where God has made provision for man to enter into his presence. It was given to Moses together with the regulations for worship, sacrifice and the service of the priests. The word "tabernacle", I should point out, simply means "tent". If you remember during the time of the Exodus, God would travel with the wandering Israelites in the desert. And this "tabernacle" or "tent" was sent up in the midst of the peoples' tents.

We see that the "house of the LORD" is central to David's one main request in verse 4. "One thing I ask of the LORD". There he is facing trouble, facing death, and the one single thing he desires most from God (it's the ONE thing!) is this - to "dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of (his) life".

This does not mean that David wants to hang out at the temple all day. It has nothing to do with coming to church on Sundays, then CF, then FOCUS, then CICCU, then Joshua, then Rock Fellowship, then Paul Group... and filling up your entire week with Christian activities. Though there is nothing wrong with any of this. It's just not what David is talking about.

David doesn't just say where he wants to be (in the house of the LORD) but what he intends to do there; what his motivation for wanting to "dwell in the house of the LORD" all the days of his life. Similarly for us, what is the main motivation for us to gather frequently as God's people around God's word. What draws us to meet together as brothers and sisters in Christ?

David's answer? "To gaze upon the beauty of the LORD."

David wants to experience God's goodness. In verse 13, he says "I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living". But more than just see it, he desires to gaze upon it - and that word "gaze" implies a contemplative, reflective and meditative approach to experiencing God. Now, how on earth do we do this?

The key to this is the word "beauty". Human beings are hard-wired for appetites that go beyond physical needs and functional gain. Beauty is something we find satisfaction in our sight and soul - that, though similar to food filling our stomaches - is utterly different in that, beauty is satisfying in an off itself. It is that piece of music, that you can play over and over again, to the annoyance of your neighbours, but for you it changes you, it captures you. Or a work of art you could sit in front of all day and just stare at. Beauty is appreciated - we gaze upon it, we long for it, we are satisfied by it.

Which is why, "beauty" can be utterly devastating when it is the sole foundation for a meaningful relationship. It is one thing to apply our appreciation to an inanimate object, but quite another to say to your husband or your wife, "I will be with you as long as you stay attractive; as long as you stay beautiful to me."

We live in a world where beauty fades. The whole cosmetic industry relies on the fact that we age, that we are constantly losing the beauty of our youth. Yet we will always have this insatiable need to be more and more beautiful.

And even if; even if we could preserve beauty. Through technology - the way we can now digitally capture music; or using some sort of 3D advancement - if we could somehow recreate perfectly the experience of a performance, exactly the way it was meant to be experienced. Even so, we would change. Our subjective desires are fickle and transient. Given enough time, we get bored of anything. People who produce pornography know this: there is always demand for another photo, another model, another issue.

Those of us who are constantly on facebook, know this. It's an addiction - looking for that next high (a video, an update, a funny quip!), and the more and more time we spend on feeding our addiction - we get more absorbed yet less and less satisfied.

You know what the amazing thing is with Psalm 27? David seems to have found the exception! He wants to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD - and he can say "This is the one thing I want; the one thing that will satisfy me!". He can say, "I can do this all day - every day - and I will just want to focus on God alone more each day!"

Now how can he say this? What is David's secret? Look at verse 4 again. Notice how his request is sandwiched between two actions:

One this I ask of the LORD,

this is what I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

David seeks God. Twice it says (in the NIV) he will seek God in the temple. He actually says it twice again in verse 8 (we will look at it just a little later). The ESV renders the second "seek" as "inquire". But what do these words mean - to "seek" and to "enquire" of God?

In part, David knows it is going to be process. It is going to take time for him to build his appreciation for God's beauty. He will have to seek God. It sounds a bit like prayer. It sounds lot like contemplation and reflection upon God. Taking time not just to take in God's holiness, goodness but also taking time for his senses to develop an appetite to fully appreciate God's holiness and goodness.

Yet, whenever you find these words "seek" or "enquire" in the bible, and in the Psalms in particular, they usually have a more exact application. It is usually talking about God's word. I mean, you "seek"... God's will, and God's will is revealed in God's word. David is talking about the law of God. He knows he has to spend time reflecting on what God has said in his word about himself.

At first glance this can seems strange! What does appreciating God's beauty, have to do with reading God's word? The last thing a student wants to hear, is that he has to study more! Read more of this book! Learn it, spend time in it! Because the student has spent the past year in books and he has just grown sick of it!

Yet, what you are reading in the bible is not another book - you are reading a person. That's what you have to do to grow in appreciation of an individual. You get to know that person. You find out more about what he or she is like - their likes and dislikes, their experiences, their character. And when you read the bible, you are learning more about God. What he is like. What he has done. Did you know you could do that? You could come to God's word and ask questions about his will. You can come to God's word to hear his voice speaking to you.

And David is saying, the more and more you do this - the more you seek God in his word, the more you will want to. You will begin to see God's character, his holiness, his goodness - his beauty - in his revealed word. You will want to do this, all the days of your life.

3. Mercy from God's Judgement

So, to recap: David is facing mounting opposition from his enemies. He paints a worst-case scenario whereby he is surrounded by attackers, gathering to wage war against him. Yet David is secure in his trust in God. We find him in God's temple, worshipping God in the presence of his beauty and holiness. He is confident, he is fearless, he is full of praise (verse 6 - I will sacrifice with shouts of joy) - but when we come to verse 7; we find him broken and vulnerable.

“Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;

Be merciful to me and answer me.”

(Verse 7)

David is struggling! Not with man, but with God! He cries out to the LORD saying, "Hear me! Answer me!" What is more, we soon find David struggling with himself!

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD I will seek.

(Verse 8)

Earlier David had resolved to seek God in his temple, and now his heart reminds him to do just that - "Seek his face!" - it says to him. As if his own heart and conscience knows that David is prone to wandering. As if, he himself knows how tempted his not to seek God's direction and will. The original Hebrew is hard to translate at this point. It could just as well be God speaking through David's heart saying "Seek my face". In which case, God knows that David needs reminding. God is holding David to his promise.

But the shocking revelation comes in the next verse. You see, David might be fearless when it comes to man. In verse 1, he confidently proclaims "Whom shall I fear!" Well, verse 9 reveals that David does fear someone, deeply and profoundly. David fears God.

Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
You have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Saviour.
(Verse 9)

Do you see hear what David is saying? "Do not hide your face... do not turn me away" ... in anger? Why would God reject him? Why does David plead that the LORD not forsake him in his time of need?

It is at this point of the psalm that we need to remind ourselves: where is David? He has told us again and again in verses 4 to 6. Where is he, right now, as he engages with God at his time of greatest need?

He is in the temple. The temple: where sacrifices are offered up to God for the sinfulness of man. The temple where God's anger of the sinfulness of man is quenched through the offering of bulls and goats. Everything around him is a grim reminder that God is utterly holy, and man is utterly sinful. But mercifully, everything around him also reminds David that God is loving and gracious. That is what he cries out for in verse 7 - "Be merciful to me!" he says. For God does not deal with his people as they deserve, but provides the sacrificial system, through the temple, as a way for our punishment for sin to fall on the animals and blood sacrifices. David knows this well. The joy he experiences in verse 6 (I will sacrifice with shouts of joy!), is the joy of forgiveness!

Look again at how David addresses God at the end of verse 9. He calls him, "O God my Saviour". O God. My Saviour! In verse 1, David confidently says of God - he is my salvation. But here, he feels like he desperately needs to reminds God of this fact - "You are my helper! You are my Saviour!"

What is he asking God to save him from? It isn't his enemies. It is God's anger.

"Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger"

So much so, that the only thing that would cause David to fall into the hands of his enemies, is God's righteous judgement. He says in verse 12, "Do not hand me over to the desire of my foes." Israel as a nation has seen threats from its neighbours - Assyria, Syria, Babylon, Rome; the people of God have always had its enemies. Yet, the bible is clear that whenever the nation fell into the hands of its enemies, it wasn't because God had not been able to protect them, rather it was precisely because God had ordained these forces to punish them in their continuous rebellion against him.

These verses paint two complementary pictures of God's judgement over sin. First, all God need do is hide his face from us. He only needs to let us go. I am reminded of Romans 1 which declares in verse 18, "The wrath of God is being revealed against the godlessness and wickedness of men..." followed by the repeated phrase, "There God gave them over" (verse 24), "God gave them over" (verse 26), "God gave them over" (verse 28). He hands us over, not just to the desires of evil men (verse 12), but to the desires of our own evil hearts - to experience the fullness of our wickedness and the fullness of his wrath.

But secondly, God's judgement is also seen in his rejection. To understand this, we have to understand how David's anguish is not at all expressed physically, but relationally. He doesn't want to be abandoned! He fears that he will be left alone!

Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
(Verse 10)

David compares God to his closest kin - his father and mother. So precious is the bond of love and relationship and approval that he treasures with God, that he places it above his own family. And for a man of God like David, he knows the true horror of God's judgement is seen in the severing of this relationship with the Creator, the Author of Life, but also the Source of his Joy. That's why David can long for God's beauty. He isn't merely expressing hope that he will be saved; David is expressing love for his Saviour!

4. Beauty in God's Sacrifice

The question remains - what does this Beauty, or Pleasantness (as in some translations) of God look like? It is his glory? Is it God's power? Perhaps some kind of radiance that is projected from his presence? Can we even see it?

Actually, David isn't describing something in the abstract when he speaks of the beauty of the LORD. It is obvious, isn't it? David it talking about the sacrifice.

The whole temple serves but one purpose. It was one big slaughterhouse. Animals were cut up and their blood and carcasses were offered up to God. The tabernacle (or tent) itself contained one main thing. It housed the ark of the covenant - essentially a huge ornate box - that had as its cover what was known as the "mercy seat" or "atonement cover". And on this, and everything else in the temple was sprinkled the blood of the sacrifice.

What does David see in the temple? It is the blood. He sees the sacrifice for his sins.

For us as Christians, we too, have a sacrifice for sins. We see Jesus on the cross. God made him who knew no sin, to be sin for us. And in Jesus, we become the righteousness of God.

That is, Jesus died on the cross to pay the full price of David's sin, and our sin. Everything that David was afraid of yet knew he deserved - Jesus took on the cross.

The evil men gathering to "devour" his flesh. The false witnesses rising up against him, breathing out violence. Jesus was delivered over to the evil desires of men to be forsaken. On the cross, Jesus died at the hands of his enemies. The Creator was subject to his creation. On the cross, God was forsaken by man.

But more profoundly, on the cross, God was forsaken by God. For Jesus, the eternal Son was forsaken by the everlasting Father. God the Father turned his face away from the perfect humble servant, instead pouring out the wrath reserved for the entire world upon the only innocent man that ever lived - his one and only Son. We need to see: the true punishment lay in the severing of a relationship that had existed since eternity past. On the cross, Jesus would cry out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!"

Friends unless we see how precious Jesus was to his Father, we will not see him as precious to our hearts. The unique lesson of Psalm 27 is that it calls us to look upon a broken man, grotesquely tortured with scars and stripes on his back, in agony and immense pain, bleeding and suffocating to the point of death - the bible calls us to look to Jesus and say with David, he is beautiful! To look upon the blood of the sacrifice and not turn away, but acknowledge the most glorious display of God's love, holiness, and yes, even beauty.

That is, Christians need to come to the point where we seek God not to get his blessing, but just to get God. Not just to be saved, but for God to be our salvation.

I wonder if you noticed that about verse 1. It's an odd thing: David calls God his salvation. He defines salvation not as an event, but a person. As long as he has God, he is saved. The implication being, he might very well be exposed to his enemies gathering around him - but that's OK. What he is truly seeking for, he already finds in God. They might come at him at full force, but he knows where he needs to be - not in a fortified city, but in a tent; in God's presence before God's sacrifice that makes David acceptable in God's presence.

How does Paul put it again?

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
(Romans 8:35)

You see, the Christian can face danger, pressure, even death, because he knows that in Christ, he is secure. There is no more condemnation for those in Christ (Rom 8:1) - Jesus has taken it all on the cross. So while we still live in a world ravaged by sin and death - we are equipped to face it with confidence and trust - for it is in these very trials and dangers that God's love in Jesus is made all the more real and all the more glorious.

Jesus isn't just useful. Jesus isn't just powerful. If anything, Jesus is beautiful. His death, his sacrifice, his work on the cross - O, that we might gaze upon Jesus and be satisfied in our souls with him! No need to prove ourselves through accomplishment. No need to strive for our own righteousness. But to look only to Jesus and know full assurance, confidence and love.

But one last thing. In Jesus, we are beautiful in God's eyes. He who knew no sin became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21). So that in Jesus, we become sinless in God's sight. In Jesus we are beautiful to God.In Jesus we will always be accepted, loved and treasured.

If anything, Jesus is beautiful.