Practical love (Ephesians 5:22 - 6:9)

And live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 5:2

“I love going to church,” someone once said to me. “Which church do you go to?” I asked. “All of them,” he replied, “… every day!” “Wow,” I said, “Are churches open every day?” “Oh, I don’t go inside the church. I just stand outside. That’s enough for me to feel God’s love.”

Some of you laughed. But it was one of the most honest answers I have ever heard. You might think it strange seeing someone standing outside a church building soaking in God’s love yet many of us stand outside the church community – keeping a safe distance from other Christians - and say, “That’s enough for me to feel God’s love.”

In verse 2, where Christians are urged to live a life of love just as Christ loved us, Paul is not talking about being a loving person but loving actual people. We know this because verse 22 onwards applies this love of Christ to wives and husbands, to children and fathers, and to slaves and masters. The last couple of times I covered these verses were with college students and young adults – a common demographic in a place like Cambridge. This was challenging, as most of them weren’t married, all of them were adults and none of them were slaves. Most of them were thinking, “How does the bible apply to me?”

There are two things to notice - firstly, the recurring expression “in the Lord” or “just as Christ” in each command. Their love for Christ was being translated into real-life. The reason why Paul keeps using phrases like “in the Lord” is because loving a real person in real life is difficult. Paul is saying, “God’s love teaches us how to be loving in difficult situations.” Secondly, notice that the person they were commanded to love was very different from themselves. This wasn’t a shared love for Chinese food or Star Wars. That kind of love is easy and often selfish. No, this is a humbling love. This love takes us out of ourselves, focuses our love on the good of the other person at the cost of ourselves. Here in Ephesians, we find a love rooted in God’s love that teaches us to how love our neighbour.

We approach the passage under three headings:

1. The look of love

2. The word of love

3. The Lord of love

1. The look of love

God’s love is seen between wife and husband – in submission and sacrifice. Verse 22: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” Verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” The marriage relationship between husband and wife mirrors the saving relationship between Jesus and the church. I’ve heard these verses appealed to as secrets to a happy marriage but I’m not sure that’s Paul’s intention. Rather, I think these verses show us what is distinctive – or even, unusual - about a Christian marriage. As the church submits to Christ, so wives are called to submit to their husbands. And as Christ loved the church, so husbands are called to die for the sake of their wives.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

I wonder which verse would get me into worse trouble: Verse 22 on submission, verse 23 on headship or verse 24 reminding wives to submit to their husbands “in everything.” Yikes!

Firstly, verse 22 clarifies that submission is an expression of the Christian faith. Wives are submitting to their husbands “as to the Lord.” The same motivation is given to children (Ephesians 6:1, “in the Lord”) as well as slaves (Ephesians 6:5, “as you would obey Christ”). Contrary to popular belief, submission in the bible is a good thing. Verse 21, which is the overarching command to the whole church, says, “Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.” God has placed each one of us in accountability relationships as expressions of our accountability before God. For wives, it’s to their husbands.

Verse 23 expands on this by introducing the notion of headship. Christ is head of the church because Christ died for the church, his body. Verse 23 is an obvious allusion to Ephesians 1:22 which says that God placed all things under Jesus’ feet and appointed Jesus as head over all things for the church. I doubt that wives have any problems with Christ being the head of the church except the same verse also states that the husband is the head over the wife. In effect, it is saying: Let the man be the man. The heart of sin is the desire to be God over our own lives. If so, the reversal of sin is the acknowledgement of God as God. Ephesians applies this to wives. Recognise the authority and role of your husbands to lead the family, to make decisions and to bear responsibility. Let the man be the man in your marriage.

If this is challenging for wives, the next verse says, “Look to the church as a model of your submission.” Verse 24: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Wives aren’t the exception. Our submission to Jesus as lord over our lives – whether as singles, as students; as Christians – is meant to encourage wives that they aren’t alone in learning submission in their daily walk with Jesus. At least with wives, it’s clear. They are meant to submit to their husbands. What about you? Who are you accountable to for the way you spend your time, your money and your energies? God puts all of us in loving accountable relationships to reflect our submission to Jesus Christ as Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:25-27

Husbands are called to love. Verse 25: “Love your wives.” Verse 28: “Husbands ought to love their wives. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Verse 33: “Each one of you also must love his wife.” In other words, love is manly. Why? Because to love as Christ loved the church means sacrifice. Notice that wives are not commanded to love in this way, only the men are (at least four times in the passage). A husband’s love should be costly. Loving as a husband means sacrificing your life for hers.

But at the same time, there is a purpose to this love. It makes her holy. In verse 23, Christ’s death cleanses the church through “the washing with water through the word.” It’s a radical transformation from unclean to clean; from sinful to holy; from rebellious to radiant. Most men seeking a wife look for chemistry or compatibility. Christ, on the other hand, came to save sinners and to sanctify them as his radiant church. If we are to love like Christ, husbands, this means loving our wives even more, not even less, when they are unloving towards us. Why? Because the day will come when we will have to present our wives to Jesus as his bride, not ours. Our privilege in this lifetime is not to enjoy all the loveliness we first saw when she walked down the aisle but to present her to Jesus on that final day, even more radiant as a result of our loving marriages. As a result of our sacrificial love as husbands.

This is what love looks like – loving submission and loving sacrifice between a wife who loves Jesus and a husband who loves like Jesus.

2. The word of love

Next, we hear a word of love to children and fathers.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

All of us have parents and therefore all of us are commanded to honour our father and mother. Children, however, are commanded to obey their parents in the Lord, that is, to submit to their authority. On the flip side, fathers are counselled not to exasperate their children  - that is, not to provoke them to anger (or Singaporeans would say, “tekan them”) – but to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

What we see is God’s word being at the centre of family relationships. Don’t miss that. Children are not merely told to behave in church but commanded by God in his word to obey their parents. Honouring your father and mother is not a Chinese cultural hangover, it is God’s holy word. Those of you who know your bibles should recognise this as one of the Ten Commandments given by Moses. Paul is, in effect, preaching to the kids at this point, telling them to turn to Deuteronomy 5 and Exodus 20 to hear for themselves God’s voice speaking to them in church.

And notice the motivation why: “That it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” This is God’s promise of blessing first given to Israel in connection with the Promised Land (They would have heard this as “That you may enjoy long life in the Land,” referring to Canaan). This is not moralism (Be good or God will punish you!). Neither is it legalism (Be good so that God will bless you). It’s actually evangelism! The same God who spoke to the Israelites thousands of years ago to the Israelites speaks to them today in Jesus Christ.

We also see that the responsibility to teach these truths to kids rests on the head of the family – the Dad. Not the mum. Not the Sunday School Auntie. Not even a pastor like Paul. Fathers are to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Notice how the husband and the Dad are repeatedly pointed to God’s word as the source of their authority. Back in Ephesians 5:26 (“the washing of water through the word”) and here in Ephesians 6:4. Again the bible is saying to men, “Know your bibles and make God’s word the foundation of your family life.” Fathers are not to exasperate their children. It’s a reminder how easy it is for the Dad to take advantage of his authority to “lay down the law” or to “put his foot down”. But if you put God’s word at the centre of your daily instruction, then the weightiness of obedience for kids is greater – not lesser – as they are then being commanded by God himself to honour their parents and to live in submission as a sign of their trust in a loving God.

3. The Lord of love

The most challenging form of headship and submission however comes in the last section – in addressing slaves and masters.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favour when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart.

Ephesians 6:5-6

The slave-master relationship was a working relationship. Furthermore, slaves in the ancient world were often economic slaves – that is, as a means of paying off a debt. Slaves could buy their freedom. Some could marry and have children.

Having said all this, our jobs today are not to be equated with slavery, even the most noble forms of slavery in the ancient world. Elsewhere in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says, “Where you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you – although if you can gain your freedom, do so” (1 Corinthians 7:21) To a slave was to be stuck in permanent status of lowliness.

And Paul says to slaves, “Obey your earthly masters… just as you would obey Christ.” In a life situation that is a lot less than ideal, Paul says, “Serve God where you are.” And that’s the big principal for us. We do not need God to change our economic status for us to live for him. We can even be a lowly slave and “serve God from the heart.”

Many Asian students come to Cambridge on scholarship from their home country dreading the day they will have to report to their sponsors to serve out their bonds. I can’t think of a more practical passage in the bible to turn to. “Obey them not only to win their favour,” not merely as a stepping-stone in your career, “but like slaves of Christ,” Paul says. Your ultimate bond is with Jesus. He is your Boss. “Serve wholeheartedly,” verse 7 says, “because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.” God blesses even slaves while they are serving as slaves, so God can even bless bonded civil servants.

Masters have fewer words from Paul. But notice how they are words of warning not to take advantage of their slaves, especially if they are their brothers in Christ.

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favouritism in him.

Ephesians 6:9

At the centre of the master-slave relationship is the Master (or Lord; same word). He has the final say in our status and our performance. You see, at least slaves understand practically what it means to please a master. We earthly masters, on the other hand, need clearer reminders about what it means to live under Jesus as our Boss. You don’t need to tell a slave that his money isn’t his money, his life isn’t his life and his time isn’t his time. But managers and directors and CEO’s are often not content with the money that they do have, the life and the time that is theirs.

Which are you in your relationship with Jesus Christ? Are you the slave or is he your slave? Are you lord over your life or is Jesus Christ lord over your life?

Conclusion

In conclusion, we have seen three things. Firstly, the look of love – which is not haughtiness or lust, but submission and sacrifice. We see this in the marriage relationship between husband and wife, both of whom love Jesus; both of whom love one another like Jesus. The wife submits to the husband – letting the man be the man, in the same way that the church submits to Christ – letting Jesus be Lord over everything thing. The husband loves his woman in a manly way – by dying for her, by making her holy, by making her radiant for Jesus’ sake.

Secondly, the word of love – which is God’s word, the bible. It teaches children obedience, making them wise for salvation in Jesus Christ. It tempers the discipline of the father, giving them the resources to bring his children up in the instruction of the Lord.

Thirdly, the Lord of love. Jesus is the ultimate boss – whether you are a scholarship student bonded to the government for the rest of your life or CEO of Fortune-500 company. He will write our final performance review and he judges the contents of our hearts. If we are to serve him, it means, serving one another in whatever situation of life he has placed us. Not despising the richer brother for his wealth. Not oppressing the slave because of his helplessness. But treating one another as Christ loved us – wholeheartedly, doing the very will of God.

Practical holiness (Ephesians 5)

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.

Ephesians 5:1

Back in college, a couple of my classmates were big fans of Andy Lau, a famous Hong Kong actor and singer. Andy was the dashing pop-idol - wavy black hair, sharply dressed and always posing on a motorbike.

One day, Andy Lau changed his image. On the cover of his latest album, Andy sported a crew-cut hairstyle (ala Keanu Reeves from “Speed”) and wore a white singlet. I knew this because all of a sudden my two friends started to copy Andy’s look. They cut their hair short like Andy. They wore white singlets and shorts like Andy (which made them look more like kopitiam uncles than Hong Kong superstars). And they even referred to themselves as “Andy”. One was Andy Number One and the other was Andy Number Two. For my two friends in school, imitating Andy Lau meant looking like Andy and acting like Andy.

What does it mean for us as Christians to imitate God? The opening verse in our passage today calls us to “be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.” (Ephesians 5:1) What is it about God that we are meant to imitate?

In a word, it’s holiness.

Ephesians 1:4 - For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless before him.

Ephesians 4:24 - Put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

To be holy is to be distinct. To be different from everything else. In this sense, holiness is God’s unique brand. His trademark, if you like. Only God is holy because only God is God. Yet whenever we meet that word “holy” in Ephesians, it is always talking about us. Christians are called to live a holy life.

Chapter 5 unpacks what this looks like in three ways - in relation to God, to the world and to one another. Our holiness is shaped by our relationship with God (verses 3 to 7). Our holiness affects our relationship to the world (verses 8 to 16). Our holiness transforms our relationships with one another (verses 18 to 20).

1. God

Firstly, holiness is shaped by our relationship with a holy God. Paul gets straight to the point by talking about sex and money.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Ephesians 5:3-4

Sexual sin, selfish greed and sinful speech are inconsistent (“improper”, verse 3) with God’s holy people. Are you unfaithful in your marriage? Are you obsessed with money? Do you swear at the office? So obvious are these questions that they’re cliche. These are obvious sins. And yet when a scandal breaks out - a pastor runs away with his secretary, an elder embezzles church money, when spiteful words are spoken at the AGM - we are shocked. We say, “How could this have happened?”

In Ephesians however, Paul is not addressing a scandal in the church (unlike Corinth, for example). Furthermore, these so-called obvious sins reveal something hidden in our hearts. We are dissatisfied with God. We are looking to something other than God to give us meaning and happiness. Such a person, according to verse 5, is an idolater.

For of this you can be sure: no immoral, impure or greedy person - such a person is an idolater - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.

Ephesians 5:5-6

The great danger Paul warns against is deception. Verse 5: “For of this you can be sure.” Verse 6: “Let no one deceive you with empty words.” It is the dangerous lie that God will not judge our sin. It is the lie that God does not care about holiness.

Not because God will not forgive sin and not because Christians will not sin - a couple of verses on, Paul reminds us that we were once darkness (verse 8) and well acquainted with the shameful acts of darkness (verses 11) - but because such lifestyles are the mark of those who do not know God. They are literally, “sons of disobedience” (verse 6), not children of their Heavenly Father. In other words, you are fooling yourselves if you are someone who continually indulges yourself in sin but still call yourself a Christian. You’re not. That’s a much more sober warning against sin than hell and judgement. Sin deceives you into thinking you are OK with God when in reality you are living your life as an enemy of God. Most translations have verse 7 has, “Do not be partners with them,” when it literally says, “Do not have fellowship with them.” Such individuals are not members of the same family.

Holiness is shaped by our relationship with God as our Heavenly Father. It is God’s brand stamped upon our lives to mark us out as his children.

2. The world

Secondly, holiness affects our relationship with the world.

For once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 5:8-10

I remember visiting a church where a big smiley guy welcomed me and told me he had recently become a Christian. “How did that happen?” I asked. “Oh, I used to be a violent man. In fact, I used to be racist and beat up people like you... but then someone told me about Jesus!” He laughed and I laughed (nervously).

All of us have done things we wish we could forget. But an amazing thing happens when we encounter God’s grace in Jesus Christ. Because of Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross, we know that we have been completely forgiven of all our sins - past, present and future. The guy I met who was so honest with his past knew the power of such forgiveness. Having the weight of guilt and judgement lifted off your shoulders does something amazing. It allows you to look back at the life you used to live and say, “That’s not me any more.”

Ephesians reminds us that we were once darkness but now we’ve become light in the Lord. It describes a radical transformation - a conversion -  that takes place in the life of every believer who trusts in Jesus Christ. From death to life. From darkness to light.

It is this same transformation that God wants us to effect - or expose - in the world we live in.

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible.

Ephesians 5:11-14

On the one hand, believers are to dissociate themselves from the fruitless deeds of darkness (This clarifies the earlier statement in verse 7 about not having fellowship or partnership with them. It means we are not to copy their behaviour nor be conformed to the world). On the other hand, we are called to “expose” their actions. To expose does not mean to gossip or condemn from a safe distance. It means to rebuke and redeem -  in the same way that the gospel confronts us with our sin and points us to our Saviour who died for our sin.

This is why it is said:

“Wake up, O sleeper,

rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:14

When I was a teenager, I would sleep in late on Saturdays. My mum would send my sis (who was still in primary school at the time) to wake me up and every time she did, I would get upset. Once I even gave her a karate-chop (which sent her crying back to my mum who gave me a stern and well-deserved tongue-lashing!)

The gospel is a wake-up call - an alarm bell - stirring us from slumber. I was reading Jonah a couple of days ago where Jonah was fast asleep at the bottom of the ship as the storm is raging outside and the captain says to him, “What do you mean, you sleeper? Arise, call out to your god!” (Jonah 1:6, ESV) Also in Isaiah Chapter 60, the people of God are called to “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.” Jonah was asleep, oblivious to danger. Israel was stuck in darkness and despair. In both situations, the call was to wake-up to God and to face-up to life.

Not everyone will thank you for this (Some might even respond with a karate-chop as I did with my sister). In John’s gospel, we read that “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.” (John 3:20) John continues, “Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light.” Why? “So that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.” (John 3:21) This person wants God to get the credit for the change. “God did this, not me.” It is humility - and not perfection - that characterises this radical change in the Christian.

In summary, Christians are called to relate to the world the same way that God relates to us in Jesus Christ. Not simply by bringing about social justice (though Paul does say that “the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth,” in verse 9). But ultimately by speaking the gospel. “Everything exposed by the light becomes visible” (verse 13). “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you” (verse 14). It’s talking about the redeeming power of the gospel to change darkness into light. To speak into situations of death and awaken life.

This feeds directly into the following words of wisdom:

Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5:15-16

Wisdom is equated with urgency. The kind of urgency you see in a student revising for an exam the next morning or a doctor resuscitating a patient who’s had a stroke. The wise person does not waste time - he makes the most of his time - because he knows that the days are “evil”. We meet this expression again in Chapter 6, where Paul talks about the “day of evil” - a day of spiritual testing. But here, he says that there is an element of testing every single day of our lives. Make the most of every day, of every moment. And expect opposition especially if you are doing God’s will.

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

Ephesians 5:17

Look back at verse 10 and Paul says the same thing, “Find out what pleases the Lord.” Most of us are thinking about God’s will for my career, my marriage, my life goals. But Ephesians uses God’s “pleasure and will” as a shorthand for the gospel.

He predestined us… through Jesus Christ… according to his pleasure and will.

Ephesians 1:5

He made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ.

Ephesians 1:9

We were chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.

Ephesians 1:11

God’s pleasure and will is for all things to be brought under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. It is shorthand for the gospel. And Christians are called to be wise in living out the gospel and speaking out the gospel. Why? Because there will come a time when the opportunity to do so will pass. Remember what Jesus once said:

Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you make become sons of light.
John 12:35-36

We relate to the world the way God has related to us. Through the gospel, God confronts our sin and points us to a Saviour, Jesus Christ, who died for our sin, so that could be forgiven.

3. One another

Finally, holiness transforms our relationships with one another.

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reference for Christ.

Ephesians 5:19-21

Speak, sing and submit. Three commands for God’s people. Three marks of God’s indwelling Spirit (verse 18, “Be filled with the Spirit”). Think about it. We expect him to say, “Love,” or, “Serve one another.” Isn’t it strange that Paul tells us to sing to one another and to submit to one another?

I recently met an enthusiastic Christian who asked me, “What do you think God’s will is for your life?” I said, “I think God wants me to learn what it means to be holy.” He looked me in the eye and said, “Wrong!” and proceeded to talk about God’s love and goodness. It’s not the first time I’ve encountered that reaction. God’s holiness and God’s love can seem contradictory. And yet passages like 1 Thessalonians 4 state quite clearly (in response to my friend’s question), “It is God’s will that you should be holy,” (1 Thessalonians 4:3) before moving on to talk about God’s love. In fact, Paul says, “Now about brotherly love we do not need to talk to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9)

What we find in the closing verses of Chapter 5 is a distinctive love. We are called to speak to one another about God’s love and we are called to serve one another in submission to God’s Son.

The first is an overflow of praise. “Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.” It makes sense to express our love for Jesus in song but God wants our love to overflow to others. “Speak to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.” There is an instructive quality about our praise. Elsewhere in Colossians, Paul writes, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16) The songs we sing in church are meant to function the same way the sermon does: To encourage one another to live for Christ. As such, the songs we sing are not meant to be mere expressions of emotive love (“I love you, I love you so much it hurts”) but like the preaching of God’s word, a call to respond to God’s redemptive love in Jesus Christ (“How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure.”)

The second is a sign of submission. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” There ought to be a sense of awe - and perhaps even fear, which the word reverence translates - when we approach a holy God. We tend to equate love with being casual and easygoing. But the love we see in Ephesians describes a kind of carefulness when it comes to relationships amongst God’s people. We hold ourselves to account. We submit to one another’s authority. We treat “older men as fathers, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5:1-2).

This is a holy, distinctive love. Even when describing the ultimate example of love in the cross of Jesus Christ, Ephesians 5:2 connects the dots between Christ’s love and God’s holiness. “Live a life of love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” The Old Testament priests offered up sacrifices for the sins of the people so they could approach God. Jesus Christ offered himself on the cross in order to make us acceptable before God.

I think the most crushing thing you could ever experience is to have someone you love say, “I do not love you anymore.” When children reject their parents or parents abandon their children; when husbands leave their wives or wives walk out on their husbands; when once close friends turn into bitter enemies. You are left feeling crushed, betrayed, unloved. Friends, God’s love for you is not based on your loveliness. It is not even based on your holiness. But Christ’s death made us holy, acceptable, loved - in a way that is permanent and pervasive. He loves us because he loves us. Not because of anything we could ever do but because of everything that he has already done.

And the point of all this is to say: Let this distinctive love shape your relationships with one another. Speaking in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs means letting God’s word be the final word in your conversations. It means encouraging one another and reminding one another about who God is and what he has done for us in Jesus. Submitting to one another in reverence to Christ means Christ is Lord in over your marriage, Christ is Lord over your family, Christ is Lord over your relationship even with the person you can’t get along with, perhaps especially so. It means treasuring purity, respect and accountability in the way we love our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Holiness shapes our relationships with one another in God’s family.

Conclusion

Ephesians Chapter 5 is about practical godliness - imitating God in his holiness. And everything in here is practical. Avoid sexual immorality and greed. Watch your speech. Expose wrongdoing. Submit to one another.

But I hope we have seen that holiness is first and foremost relational. (1) It is shaped by our relationship with God. Because he is holy, we are called to live holy lives. (2) It affects the way we relate to the world. When we encounter darkness, we remember that we were once darkness but through the gospel, were changed to live in the light of Christ’s salvation and God’s love. Therefore, we are called to speak the same gospel into situations of darkness and pray for God to bring about that same transformative change. (3) Finally, holiness shapes our relationships with one another - in purity, in respect and in distinctive love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Holiness is God’s trademark stamped across our lives identifying us as his people. In this sense, Ephesians Chapter 5 is not a manual on how to become holy. You can’t. If you try, you will fail, and worse, end up hating God all the more for imposing such restrictive rules on your life.

Rather, at each turn, Ephesians reminds us as Christians to, “Be who you are.” You are holy to God, therefore, live a holy life for God. You are loved by God, therefore love as Jesus has loved you. At each turn, Ephesians reminds us our true identity in Christ and says, “Be who you already are.” Holy. Loved. Children of your heavenly Father.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

The opposite of joy (2 Samuel 6)

Psychopaths in office

Psychopaths in office. A 1982 report suggests: The best people to run the UK government in the event of a catastrophe - a bomb, for instance - would be psychopaths. Psychopaths would make rational, and not emotional, decisions. Psychopaths would be unaffected by loss and tragedy. Psychopaths would get the job done.

You might think that’s crazy. But don’t we detach ourselves when we’re facing a difficult decision? “Don’t get emotional,” we say to ourselves. “Don’t take it personally.”

Today’s talk deals with emotion: Delighting in God and desiring to serve Him. It’s a step up from knowing God. We want to delight in Him; enjoy Him. It’s a step up from doing God’s will. We want to please him; make him smile. It’s emotional. And that makes it uncomfortable for those of us who are guys. Delighting in God isn’t manly. It makes it uncool for those of us at Cambridge. We’d rather think about God than feel something about God.

Yet the strangest thing about our topic today is not simply the fact that we’re dealing with the emotion of a Christian believer. No, the strangest thing is: we’re going to look to a politician to teach us how to love God; a politician to teach us how to express our desire towards God. That politician’s name is David. Not David Cameron. But King David in the bible.

He is the man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). He is the man who wrote songs to God - the psalms (especially the First Book of the Psalms) - what are essentially love songs to God.

And in our passage today from 2 Samuel 6, he is a man determined celebrate the love he has for his God. “David and the whole house of Israel were celebrating with all their might before the LORD.” (2 Samuel 2:5) It’s a worship service. “David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might.” (2 Samuel 6:14) I think of Hugh Grant in Love Actually, dancing around the apartment. Here, David gets down and boogies in his pyjamas. “David said to Michal, ‘It was the LORD who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel. I will celebrate before the LORD.’” (2 Samuel 2:21) She’s calling him an idiot and David’s response is, “I don’t care. I will celebrate before God.” Here is a man determined to express his love towards his God.

Yet, at the same time, we see a man struggling to sustain that love and devotion.

“Then David was angry because the LORD’s wrath had broken out against Uzzah.” (2 Samuel 6:8) “David was afraid of the LORD that day and said, ‘How can the ark of the LORD ever come to me?” (2 Samuel 6:9) It’s personal frustration. “How can God ever be near me.”

What this passage teaches us is: The biggest obstacle to David’s joy is God. God is keeping David from enjoying God.

It’s not pressure. It’s not lack of prayer. The biggest problem you and I have when we don’t desire God, when we find it impossible to love God, is God. It’s not because we haven’t tried hard enough. Because, like salvation, love for God is something only God can do in our hearts. Only God can change your heart to love him. More than your degree. More than your life. Only God can do that.

If that is true, the question you need to ask yourself is not, “Do I love God?” but “Do I know who this God is?” It’s a fundamental question in any relationship. Do I know this person I am claiming to love? We might say we love someone but do so selfishly. The point is: We are not trying to psych ourselves into becoming more loving people. That’s not the point. Love is other-person centred. The point is to look at God as he really is and to know Him and to love Him. It’s knowing what pleases Him.

Kingdom of hearts

We see David doing that in Chapter 6. But just before we look at the passage, let me give you some context. Chapters 1 to 5 tell us that God has chosen David to be King over his people. He is God’s chosen King, chosen to rule over God’s people.

That’s a summary of Chapter 5. Verses 1 to 5: David becomes King over his people. The elders of the northern tribes come and say, “Be king over us,” and David unites all twelve tribes to become King over God’s people, Israel. And verse 6 to the end sees David becoming King over his enemies. He defeats the Philistines, who come up again and again in 1 Samuel. He defeats them in one final battle. David is king over God’s people. David is conqueror over God’s enemies.

So, why do we need Chapters 1 to 4? If you turn to the very beginning of the book, verse 1 reads, “After the death of Saul…” That is, the king is dead... long live the king. Saul is dead. David is King.

And yet, again and again, we see Saul’s name popping up in Chapters 1 to 4. “Meanwhile, Abner, son of Ner, the commander of Saul’s army, had taken Ish-Bosheth son of Saul… He made him king.” (2 Samuel 2:8,9) “The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time.” (2 Samuel 3:1)

Saul is dead! But Saul’s kingship is very much alive. What we see in Chapters 1 to 4 is a struggle between two kingdoms: David’s kingdom and Saul’s. What we see is a struggle between two rules: God’s rule through David and man’s rebellion through Saul. Now, this struggle is resolved in Chapter 5 when David becomes king over God’s people and God’s enemies. The external struggle is over.

But what we see in Chapter 6, I suggest to you, is an internal struggle. Will God’s King submit himself to God’s rule? Will God’s king humble himself as God’s servant?

The holiness of God

David again brought together out of Israel chosen me, thirty thousand in all. He and his men set out from Baalah of Judah to bring from there the ark of God, which is called by the Name, the name of the LORD Almighty, who is enthroned between the cherubim that are on the ark.

2 Samuel 6:1-2

Because I didn’t grow up doing to Sunday School, I’m ashamed to say that when I first read the bible, I thought the Israelites walked through the desert carrying this huge wooden boat everywhere with them for forty years. I thought the ark of God was Noah’s ark, foolishly, of course.

Most of you know that this ark is not a big boat with lots of animals in it - Noah’s ark in Genesis 6 to 8 - but is actually a small box, with God’s presence resting upon it. The ark was the size of your average coffee table (4 feet by 2.5 feet). It was a wooden box covered with gold. I met a student once who sheepishly admitted her dad built the ark of the covenant as a hobby in his garage. That’s because you can find the instructions for the ark in the bible, in the book of Exodus. God gave instructions to Moses to build the ark which travelled with the Israelites in desert. It symbolised God’s presence with them. It symbolised God’s protection over them. Inside the ark were symbols of God’s power, provision and word. That is, inside this box, Moses placed Aaron’s staff - a reminder of God’s power; a jar of manna - a reminder of God’s provision; and the two tablets of the Ten Commandments - God’s word to Israel.

None of these are mentioned, however, because verse 2, draws our attention to what’s on top of the ark - “the LORD Almighty, who is enthroned between the cherubim that are on the ark.” Crafted on top of the ark, on its lid, if you like, are two angelic figures, cherubim. And according to verse 2, God sits enthroned between these angelic figures.

What this symbolises is God’s rule as King over the universe. The lid, elsewhere referred to as the atonement cover, is a representation of God’s throne in heaven, where God rules over all his creation in the presence of his angels (Revelation 4 and 5). The ark, therefore, was a reminder to Israel that the King of the Universe was their King.

Why is this significant? King David who has just been established as King over Israel and over his enemies in Chapter 5 is bringing the ark into his capital city, as if to say, “Here is the true King.” The thirty thousand troops are not David’s, they are God’s. The kingdom is not David’s, it’s God’s.

They set the ark of God on a new cart and brought it from the house of Abinadab, which was on a hill. Uzzah and Ahio, sons of Abinadab, were guiding the cart with the ark of God on it, and Ahio was walking in front of it. David and all the house of Israel were celebrating with all their might before the LORD, with songs and harps, lyres, tambourines, sistrums and cymbals.

2 Samuel 6:3-5

A friend visited Singapore for the first time this summer and went to my church on Sunday. She’d never been before, so I asked her, “What was the sermon about? What did you think of the preaching?” She said, “I can’t remember!” but then added, “All I could remember was the pastor up on stage playing an electric guitar!” (I hesitated to tell her we first introduced that pastor to church members many years ago with the soundtrack of Hawaii Five-’O’ blasting in the background!)

The ark is being transported to the Jerusalem, accompanied by 30,000 soldiers. But this far from a military procession. It’s a moving worship service. David and all of Israel were singing with songs, harps, tambourines, guitars… it’s a long list of instruments; a full band. Here was the pastor leading his church with an electric guitar. Here was the Prime Minister jamming with the music team on Sunday morning!

Everyone was singing, dancing to the music. And the last person - the last person anyone expected to turn up at this worship service - was God!

When they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. The LORD’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down and he died there beside the ark of God.

2 Samuel 6:6-7

You can imagine the scene replayed in slow motion. The oxen stumble over a the rocky path. The wooden cart jerks to a halt and Uzzah sees the ark of God slide to one side. Out of pure instinct, he reaches out to catch the ark before it reaches the edge of the cart. And BAM! Uzzah is dead.

What was he supposed to do? Let the ark fall to the ground? Then what? Ten guys would try to pick it up and all ten would get zapped by God’s wrath? How is that fair?

Two possible explanations for God’s response to Uzzah’s actions. The first possibility is irreverence - the irreverence of Uzzah. This was a worship service, yes, but a worship service that offended God. If you like, it was the kind of worship that made them feel good but made God look bad. Everything looked very good - the drums, the guitars, the energy, the enthusiasm. But it all made God look bad.

David says in 1 Chronicles Chapter 15: “It was because you, the Levites, did not bring it up the first time (meaning the ark) that the LORD our God broke out in anger against us. We did not enquire of him about how to do it the prescribed way.” (1 Chronicles 15:13) You see, hundreds of years ago, God told Moses: Only the Levites were supposed to carry the ark (even then, only those of the Kohathite clan, Numbers 4:15). It even came with a warning: “Or they will die.” And 1 Chronicles 15 which is a parallel record to 1 Samuel 6 has David laying the blame on the priests saying, “You guys should have known this!”

What was the problem? In their worship of God, they had ignored the word of God. They knew this would happen but they went ahead anyways. So, the first possibility is: They broke the rules. God was offended and responded with judgement.

It is worth mentioning that 1 Samuel 6 mentions the ark being carried on a wooden cart with two young cows pulling it. This was sixty years ago when the ark of God was captured by the enemy nation, the Philistines. They thought they had won a big victory by capturing Israel’s God. But kinda like a scene from Raiders, the ark proved too hot to handle. Their idols got smashed. People got sick with horrible tumours. Pretty soon, the Philistines were saying, “We’ve got to get rid of this thing.” What did they do? They put the ark on a cart. Hitched up two cows. And off they went, carrying the ark of God all the way to Abinadab’s house where we find it sixty years later in 2 Samuel 6.

And you need to see that sixty years later, the Israelites decide the best way to bring the ark of God back to their city was to copy their pagan neighbours. “How to we bring the ark back home? Let’s do what the Philistines did.” Ahio and Uzzah get two cows. They pop the ark in the back and off they went.

It’s worldly worship. It’s word-less worship (ignoring God’s word). It is worship that makes us look good but makes God look bad. That’s the first possibility as to why God responded in wrath, anger and judgement.

There is a second possibility: God was reminding Israel that He alone is God. David says, in verse 9, “How can the ark of God ever come to me?” You see, David took this sign of judgement personally.

This was the height of his career. He had organised this big event, got the crowd going, led the music team himself. Everyone was doing their part. Everyone, that is, except God. I think, David was frustrated and surprised at God’s actions that day. As a result, he dumped the ark where it was for three months.

You’re skeptical, I can tell (yes, even you reading this). Look back with me to Chapter 5, verse 20.

So David went to Baal Perazim, and there he defeated them. He said, “As waters break out, the LORD has broken out against my enemies before me.” So that place was called Baal Perazim.

2 Samuel 5:20

He’s boasting. “Look at the victory God has given me,” describing how God “broke out” against his enemies. Smashed, if you like. Think, Incredible Hulk. “Hulk smash!” David is saying God smashed the bad guys. They didn’t stand a chance. The Hebrew word was “Perez”, hence, twice we read that the place was called “Baal Perazim” or “This is the place God smashed the Baals”.

Now look at David’s reaction to Uzzah.

Then David was angry because the LORD’s wrath had broken out (or smashed) against Uzzah and to this day that place is called Perez Uzzah.

2 Samuel 6:8

“The place where God smashed Uzzah.” That’s what Perez Uzzah means. In the past, God smashed their enemies. Here, God judges his own people. God was reminding Israel, “I am holy.”

This Sunday, when you are in church, worshipping the same God of the bible, I wonder, is this the God you worship? This holy, awesome God?

For many years, the parents of a girl with a severe mental disability would come regularly to church. They would sit at the back with their daughter and listen to the pastor preach. One day, their daughter ran up to the stage, took the mic and made a scene in front of the whole congregation. Everyone froze. No one knew what to do, except to report to the pastor, “Pastor, that girl is causing trouble on stage.” Do you know what he said? “Good.” “At least, they see her.”

Is it possible to turn up in church, sing your heart out, leave with your convictions challenged, all the while ignoring the very God you sought to worship and very people you sought to worship with? Of course, it is. And at times, God in his wisdom and graciousness wakes us up to say, “Open your eyes.”

David took this incident to heart. He was frustrated. In the past God judged his enemies; not God poured out his judgement on Israel. But there’s more, because David then decides not to bring the ark back with him to Jerusalem. Instead, he deposits the ark into the care of man named Obed-Edom.

He was not willing to take the ark of the LORD to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it aside to the house of Obed-Edom, the GIttite. The ark remained in the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite for three months, and the LORD blessed him and his entire household.

2 Samuel 6:10-11

I heard a sermon on this very passage about Uzzah and ark by a pastor who said, “When I get to heaven, I want to meet this guy, Obed-Edom.” Of all the people in heaven, why Obed-Edom? Because, he wanted to know what it was like to Obed-Edom to wake up that day, hear the knock on the door only to open it to find David, surrounded by David’s mighty men (ala Expendables) and thirty thousand foot soldiers standing in front of his house, saying, “Do you have space in the garage per chance? We’d like to leave the ark of the covenant in our backyard.”

“Oh, and whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH IT!”

It was silly. David dumped the ark with this guy named Obed-Edom. But notice, his name isn’t simply Obed-Edom. It’s Obed-Edom the Gittite, or Gath-ite, meaning, “Of Gath.” Meaning: Obed was originally from a place called Gath. Who else do you know from this place called Gath? David would know. Back in 1 Samuel 17, David fought a giant of a man, a champion of the Philistines, named Goliath of Gath.

And here is David, leaving the ark of God into the care of a foreigner, albeit a worshipper of God, who was formerly from the Philistine city of Gath. Here’s the kicker, though - what is God’s response? He blessed Obed and his entire household.

Do you see the reversal? God judges Israel and blesses the nations. When Israel disobeys God, God responds with the same wrath and judgement he poured out on her enemies. At the same time, he is more than willing to pour out blessing on a Philistine who has turned to worship him as the true God. I think David saw this as clear as day and that made him afraid of God, frustrated with God, aware of God.

Two possibilities to explain Uzzah’s judgment: A reminder and a reversal. God reminds Israel that he alone is God. God reverses his judgement to remind us he is a gracious God. He does not owe David the kingdom. He does not owe Obed his blessing.

It is a dangerous thing to worship the true and living God. You can have the time of your life - singing the songs, serving in church, pouring out your worship before God. But is this the God you are worshipping? The God who is holy. The God who reveals his will in his Word. At times, God uses his blessing to remind us he is God. Other times, he will use his judgement, but all towards the same end. To remind us that he is God and we are not. We exist to bring him glory.

The humility of the King

As you read the following verses, keeps asking yourselves this question: Who is bringing the ark back to Jerusalem?

Now King David was told, “The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God.” So David went down and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. When those who were carrying the ark of the LORD had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. David wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD, with all his might, while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

2 Samuel 6:12-15

So back to my question: Who is bringing the ark back to Jerusalem? Answer: David, of course. He hears that God has blessed Obed-Edom and that triggers a change of heart. But did you notice: David is everywhere. It almost seems like David is single-handedly bringing the ark back to Jerusalem. As if, he hopped on his bicycle, headed straight for Obed’s house and single-handedly brought the ark back with him.

“So David went down.” “He sacrificed the bull.” “David danced before the LORD.” You know and I know, he didn’t do this himself, of course. And there is mention of “the entire house of Israel” in verse 15. But it is interesting that 1 Chronicles 15 lists a whole array of priests and Levites, lots of names there. None of them here.

Here, it’s David doing the sacrifice. If you look down to verse 17, David pitches the tent. Verse 18: David did all the sacrificial burnt offerings and fellowship offerings. David blessed the people. Verse 19: David gave every single person in the crowd, every single man and woman who turned up, a personal gift to bless each and every one of them. It sounds ridiculous the way it’s described. David here. David there. David everywhere, doing everything.

The application of this is NOT: The pastor must do everything. That is not the application of these verses. It is not that the pastor or Christian leader must be able to lead worship, cook the fellowship meal and teach the Sunday School kids. It’s not the CV of the ideal pastor: Captain of Everything.

Rather, it is a picture of David as the Servant of Everyone. He is serving God and this snapshot of his participation in every aspect of the worship service tells us there was nothing he was unwilling to be a part of. He did the sacrifices. He blessed the people. He joined the music team.

I made a joke earlier about David dancing in his pyjamas, but that’s not exactly true. The linen ephod that David puts on in verse 14 is the formal uniform of a Levitical priest. It was simple but dignified. He didn’t have his armour on, by the way. It means that if you took a photograph of the ceremony, the big procession heading up to Jerusalem that day, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell which one was David. He looked exactly like all the other priests doing exactly the same thing. Except for the fact, he was the most joyful of the lot.

What is going on? Remember that David is God’s chosen king over God’s chosen people. This passage shows us just what kind of King he would be: a servant King. A King who serves his people. A King who loves God and does his will above all else.

This is God’s chosen, humble, servant King. Problem is: Not everyone wants a King like this.

As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

2 Samuel 6:16

Michal is David’s wife. That’s the tragedy of this scene. David’s own wife looks at him, sees clearly his joy in serving God and despises him in her heart. His own wife. But notice how Michal is repeatedly described as “Michal daughter of Saul.” Saul’s kingdom is very much alive. And Michal is her father’s daughter.

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would.”

2 Samuel 6:20

“Stupid man.” That’s what she’s saying. “Act your age.”

It is possible that Michal’s words are motivated by jealousy, when she criticises her husband’s behaviour in front of other women. Go back to 1 Chronicles 15 though and you will find only men listed among the priests on duty. Now we know that women were there (“all Israel,” verse 14; “both men and women,” verse 19). But I don’t think Michal was referring the gender of the audience as much as she is their rank and class. “The slave girls of the servants,” is another way of saying, “the lowest of the low.” “You’re not acting like a king. You’re acting like a nobody. Like an idiot.”

At first glance, David’s response sounds mockingly cruel. “Nyeeeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. God chose me. I am king. Your daddy is deeeaaad!”

David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler of the LORD’s people Israel - I will celebrate before the LORD.

2 Samuel 6:21

Is that what he’s doing - mocking Michal - by saying, “God’s on my side. I win, you lose”? Of course not.

Rather, David is saying, “I am not a king like your father. I will never be a king like your father.” For Saul, the kingship meant status. It meant privilege and respect amongst his peers. For David, it meant humbling himself before the true King. God’s verdict alone was all that mattered.

I met a son of a Chinese pastor who told me what it was like growing up as a pastor’s kid. People admired and respected his dad. After all, his dad was the pastor of the Chinese Church. In fact, he described how members of the church would leave fresh fish on their doorstep. Now, if you did that for a local pastor, they would think it was an insult - leaving a dead animal on their doorstep (“Your sermon stinks”) - but for a Chinese pastor it was a sign of honour and respect. Fresh fish - how delicious!

The sad truth is - though many respected that pastor, few knew him well enough to love him. It was cultural thing - leaving gifts by the house, paying the bill in the restaurant. It what you would do for your boss in your company.

You see, even for a pastor, even for a Christian leader, it is possible to respect the position and ignore the person. I would caution those of you aspiring to positions of ministry: Is it the position you desire? Is it the significance and attention it promises? Michal’s dad was the king. If you like, her daddy was the pastor. But her idea of being a pastor’s wife meant respect, dignity, status - not humility, servanthood and sacrifice. It was a shock to her system. It didn’t make sense to her and that’s why she ends up despising both the person as well as the position.

“I will be even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honour.”

2 Samuel 6:22

David is saying, “You think I’m an idiot. I tell you, I’ll worse than an idiot. I look in the mirror and I see a sinner. I see a nobody but by the grace of God. And I would rather everyone see me for the loser that I am. Because then they would see how great God is in choosing me and loving me into his kingdom.”

Is that what people see when they look at you? When you go home, do your uncles and aunties say, “Wah, kam lek chai! Kam lek lui! Tok Cambridge ah! (Wah! Smart boy! Smart Girl! Studying in Cambridge!)” The same uncles and aunties then scold your cousins, saying, “Why you so stupid? Can’t you be more like your Che Che and Ko Ko?” What do you say? Of course, most of us saying… nothing. We might feign embarrassment on the outside. Inside our hearts, we beam with pride. We think, “Yeah, I am hot stuff!”

Remember what Paul said to the Corinthians.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become ‘fools’ so that you may become wise.

1 Corinthians 3:18

Friends, I invite you to do the same. By Cambridge standards, you are wise, I know. But be ‘foolish’ in love for Christ. In the years that you spend here as a student. In the decision to choose this job or that one. What would the ‘foolish’ option be, that in God’s estimation, would actually be so much wiser for His glory, not your own? Be the kind of fool that says to the world, “I’m worse than a fool. I am a sinner. But I am loved by God and I serve my Saviour.”

Are you king over your own lives or is God the rightful ruler over your life, your degree, your online habits, your marriage, your credit card? A pastor recently challenged me, when he said, “We do not live our lives by years, by months; or even by days.... but by moments.” Do we surrender each moment to Jesus and say to him, “All my life is yours”? Or do we isolate moments for our own gain and pleasure - “I decide what I do, what I say because this part of my life is mine”?

The passage ends on a terrible note. “And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.” (2 Samuel 6:23) It’s a horrible, horrible judgement upon her and any woman, to be deprived of the joy of children, of being a mother. But the bigger picture reminds us that this is a judgement God pours out on Saul’s house and Saul’s rule. There would be no more descendants in Saul’s line. In contrast, Chapter 7 is God’s great promise that David’s kingdom would continue for eternity. From his line would come a King to rule the nations. From his line would come Jesus who died to save the nations.

The opposite of joy

At the same time, the end of the passage reveals an important lesson. It reveals the antithesis of our joy in God. The opposite of joy is not sadness from God but pride in self. I am king over my life. And I like it that way.

The scary thing is: Saul was king for forty years. Many people wanted a king like Saul, a king who embodied power and prestige and fought their battles for them. But the more they strived for that kingdom, the less they submitted to God and to one another. The opposite of the joy that comes from serving God and submitting in God is not sadness. It’s pride. People can be very happy serving themselves and God lets them, for a time.

On the other hand, the person who rejoices in God does not always look like a happy bunny. David is angry, frustrated, and I suspect, depressed during those three months. But his joy was centred on God. It was not an emotion. It was his submission. It meant he always located his source of significance outside himself, in God’s approval. In God’s love.

The main thing that is keeping us from delighting from God - it’s not our quiet time, it’s not having the right emotional make-up, it’s not our circumstance. Ultimately, if you are a real Christian, the only thing keeping you from delighting in God is God himself. There are still parts of us that resist submitting to him. And the last thing you should do in such circumstances is try to fake it. A report last year, suggests: 25% of CEOs are psychopaths. They get the job done, but fake the emotions of empathy their employees expect them to have. You can fake the emotions people expect you to have as a bible study leader, a pastor, a father, a mother, a husband, a wife, a dutiful Cambridge student serving on the Christian Union. You can do that, and no one will be the wiser, but God.

And what you would lose is God himself. Don’t let that happen. Locate your joy in God and any and every circumstance. That’s what our Lord Jesus Christ did on the cross. It meant scorning the shame. People thought him a fool. But Jesus did his Father’s will and set his sights on the Father’s joy. And that’s how we know Jesus is God’s chosen King to rule over his people and over his enemies. Fix your eyes on him.

For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2